07 January 2008

How Did It Get to Be 2008 Already???

Wow, where did that year go?? I feel as if it should still be June of 2007 or something, not January of 2008. The holidays hastened past before I could even get a handle on them, and now here we are in the long oddity that is the pre-Lent downtime. Wooo....

I guess the question we usually ask one another is this: did you make resolutions? Wellll.... here's the deal. Remember back a couple of entries ago I was talking about intentional living? Well... I like the comments from several fellow Revs that intentions are better than resolutions. :) So here are my intentions for 2008:

1) I absolutely WILL do more things for myself. Is that selfish? My poor little Libra gut wants to say so, but then I start thinking: when they run the "welcome to the flight" spiel on airlines, what do they say? If you're traveling with someone who needs assistance, put on your own oxygen mask first, THEN help them with theirs. Why? Because if you can't breathe, you can't help anyone. It isn't selfish, it's survival. In order to be there for the people you serve, love, live with, need, whatever--you have to survive. You must care for yourself. Sometimes thinking of yourself first is the best way to be there for others.

2) What will I do for myself? Ah... I have a little list. OK, it's a bloody great BIG list. :) Things I've put off for years. Things I've ignored. Clothing I want to make for myself... foods I want to try... riding time and general horse fun time that I never seem to have enough of because there are so many other things going on that "MUST be done..." Oh yes, a LONG list.

3) I will intentionally release fear. Whenever I feel it nibbling at my edges I will bless it and breathe through it. I will NOT fight it, because it is a part of me. I will instead very intentionally honour it, then let it go. Fear is a nervous sibling of excitement: it helps us define situations. Before I take the big leaps of life, I feel fear: it helps me remember that I am alive, that I have senses and sensations. And after I take the leap, the adrenaline flows through and helps me say WOW! where before I was saying OMIGOSH.... So fear will not be banished, it will be released.

4) I will intentionally believe that I deserve good things in my life. OH how my generation has battled this, men and women alike. We were raised to serve, brought up to question and volunteer and DO... but it was always in terms of doing for others, serving others, saving something for someone else. Then right around the same time, major cultural change happened--and the pendulum went toward hedonism for a good long while. Now that I am in my 50s I will find the balance: I will continue to serve because I love doing so and am called, but I will intentionally enjoy it more--and enjoy the good things that come my way as well.

5) I will intentionally look for good. I have spent far too many years on guard against bad things; now I will actively search out good ones. Be they brief, like enjoying the last rays of sun before the glory of sunset, or lengthy like the chance to sit and enjoy your lunch or dinner, I will seek them out and enjoy.

So there they are: my intentions, for better or worse. :)

I actually took a vacation this holiday season. A day or so after Christmas I drove up to Massachusetts to spend time with a very dear friend. We hung out, watched anime, talked; we hung out with horses, we hung out with family, we laughed a lot, and even cried a little. It was a surreal experience because I haven't taken a real vacation in AGES. I didn't check my work e-mail for the Tentmaker Job even once while I was gone, though I wasn't cold turkey enough to leave the laptop home. *grins* It wasn't quite intentional overall; I intentionally took the vacation, but left it all up to circumstance to see what we would end up doing. We had a wonderful time and I came home refreshed. I could get used to this. :)

So happy new year everyone, whatever your resolutions or intentions! May 2008 intentionally be a good one for you and yours!

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